Monday, August 29, 2011

DIE-ner (get it?)

Well there's your problem.
Holy bad movie Batman. From the moment the title of DIE-ner (get it?) comes up, you must realize that you, or a loved one, have made some poor choices in life if you find yourself watching this dreck. And it's not just that it's not a very good zombie movie with substandard visual effects, but with flashbacks for our serial killing protagonist, it feels like writer/director Patrick Horvath seems to be trying to make some sort of statement. If he's not, he just made a particularly shitty movie.

The movie opens with Ken, our serial killer with his bag of rope and duct tape, killing the chef and waitress in an all-night diner. Shortly thereafter a couple having marriage troubles and the town Sheriff arrive to round out the cast which spends only an hour and sixteen minutes NOT killing zombies. Instead, Ken keeps getting knocked out and flashing back to when he was a child and his mother left, or they're experimenting on how to kill one of the zombies which is impossible anyway, or waxing philosophical about evolution and how maybe the zombie is the next step. While it's not the worst zombie movie I've ever seen, it comes pretty damn close to it.

Rating: D-


  1. It seems that we have found the outer limit of duct tape. It cannot kill zombies. And really, it seems like you'd have to be far too close to a zombie for far too long to even have the possibility of the DT actually holding the Z. So they can't be killed in this one? Did they try blowing off the head and then they had a zombie running around trying to neck someone to death? Because that would have been hilarious.

  2. There was no weaponry available to "blow" a head apart, but they did cut a head clean off. The zombie just picked it back up and walked around with it at his side.